Infertility: In her own words

Published 05/20 2014 09:12PM

Updated 05/21 2014 11:42AM

BAKERSFIELD, CA -- After an amazing adventure through Patagonia with my fiancé, we moved to Utah, got married and settled into grad school. When my husband finished his Masters degree, we finally felt financially secure enough to start the family we had always dreamed of.

We tried to conceive naturally for about a year when we decided to seek medical advice. We began a regiment of ovary stimulation medication over the course of the next year and were still unsuccessful. Initially, we believed that if we could not become pregnant "naturally", that we would not become pregnant at all. We continued to try and began to become quite despondent, realizing that our dream of a family was slowly disappearing.

We even moved closer to the coast and convinced ourselves that a change of scenery may do the trick. Yet another year past and still no baby. We made friends with a couple that were experiencing infertility issues, and our new friends helped us realize that there is no need to suffer the burden of continued failure and that in-vitro fertilization had a very good record of success. So after four years, several artificial insemination cycles and many broken hearts, we finally contacted Dr. Acacio.

We became pregnant after our first in-vitro cycle, but unfortunately, we lost the pregnancy after about a month and felt as though we had lost everything. It was at this point that my husband arrived home with a pet parrot to help bring some life into our home and help us over our loss. Calypso was his name, and he brightened up our lives tremendously, helping us get ready for our next in-vitro cycle and keeping our minds off of our previous loss.

The first time we heard the heart beat of Lucas was filled with sublime joy, but also a great fear; a fear that we may lose him too. Month by month we grew closer to that special day, when finally on 25 January 2014, our little guy was finally in our arms. We have never felt more joy in our lives and all of our expectations were exceeded with one glimpse into his blue eyes.

I think that if I have a message for families out there struggling to become pregnant, it is this:
If you have love in your heart and a deep desire to bring life into your lives, don't hold onto right and wrong, bend your rules, beliefs and ideas about how to become pregnant, and never stop dreaming. But also, surround yourself with loved ones, because they will hold you when you fall and a share your happiness when you win. Friends or other people suffering from infertility issues can be a wonderful support, as they were for us. If you reach a point that you are still unsuccessful, and medical interventions have been exhausted, all I can imagine that can ease the pain is to keep loving those close to you and embrace the future of possibilities if front of you, with or without your dreamed of child.

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